“Mom, look at her, isn’t she beautiful?” I knew when Marcus said he was not anxious to sleep with her, instead, he wanted to know more about her, she would be his wife. It all started when a boy and girl’s eyes met across a football field while he was coaching beside her Father.  He maintained his cool and proceeded to learn and grow to become an excellent coach under her Father’s guidance.  Not once did he pursue her, he only looked forward to the next game to behold her beautiful eyes.

“Mom, is there such a thing as love at first sight?” Not certain to my answer, yes, it is possible. He learned something about her touched his heart. A year passes; he wonders if he was imagining things each time their eyes met, she smiled.  Another football season arrived, this time he had prepared himself to trust God with his life.

In a state of celibacy, his heart was set on Katie.  Respecting her Father and uncertain to whether she was just being kind, Marcus stood fast trusting, she is the one. Then it happened, he was invited to a birthday party at her family’s home. They have been peas in a pod ever since.

I will never forget the preparation made to receivce such joy. He prayed and read his Bible daily.  Lonely days followed; he stood fast trusting God with his life. I prayed for God to give him love. My prayer was answered. Love is a beautiful thing. Seeing them reminds me of miracles and the origin of things before being judged by materialism.  Without love, we are Michael Jacksons having all the world has to offer without love. Case close.

When we consider answering the question: “Why so many single African American women?” We have to be prepared to go deep into the soul of the black woman. This means that you have to be willing to understand we as the female gender thrive on the power of love. The problem is love and sex has been totally abused in meaning and behavior.
In writing the first part of this series, one of the readers put extra emphasis on sex being the major reason why there are so many single females today. I can join in agreeing that sexual activity plays a crucial part in this issue but I also feel it is important that it is understood why so much sexual activity.
First of all, large numbers of women have been sexually abused as children. And those who weren’t abused as children experienced some form of sexual abuse as adults. As a result, we have women who have gone through life internally damaged mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The natural process of discernment and constructive reasoning has been compromised and lost. Intimacy has been identified as some form of retardation in choosing healthy involvement in relationships.
The saddest thing about this reality is that women are not aware they are not being their true and natural selves. If they had not been violated, they would think, feel, process information totally differently. You see, what happens is the real woman is buried deep inside of them and the abused woman decides what will be. This woman does not think logically in fact she does not think much at all. She responds to life because she knows her feelings do not matter, only the feelings for the man she will allow into her body.
An abused woman exists to meet the requirements of others. They are usually very successful because they have learned to wear many masks. You do not get her heart. She does not trust you. How can she trust you when the abusers are usually people she is supposed to trust, her father, neighbor, pastor, etc. She will let you do what you like to her. In fact abused women are some of your most freaky women. They learned how to please others in the most unnatural circumstances. That is one of the reasons why young girls turn on older males.
They grew up fast sexually and mentally in getting pleasures fulfilled even if they didn’t want to do it. Their fulfillment is in getting it done. Being sexually desired makes them feel special and their ability to deliver reinforces it.
Many abused women have children because they have learned this to be a safe way of being loved. Though the claim is a desire to be loved by a man, on the other hand deep down they do not feel it is possible. There is a tug of war going on that pushes them away from any possibilities of true intimacy.
Natural tendencies are developed early in life. People would be amazed how different they would be if they were brought up in a healthy environment. Molested women and men struggle daily wondering who he or she could have been if this experience had not happened to them. This makes them feel unworthy of true love. Yet, again, it is desired but practically hopeless.
Unconsciously, they exist with no conscious of knowing their true selves. Having sex because it was their first experience of intimacy and being desired. Relationships destroy them and the other person involved. Each departs with scares that the next person they meet must endure. The vicious cycle continues leaving people alienated from potential real love.
Sex---love, sex----love, the meaning is tarnished because no one knows what the other is saying.

Being that we the people of the United States of America chose to elect the leadership we now have today, we have to accept the disastrous outcome of our choices. Now, people who voted for the Bush Administration and will continue to vote for it as they look towards McCain, will continue to send us to Hell. Our difficulties we are facing today will continue because of the narrow mind mentality found in America. There is no need to listen to promises of candidates to rebuild our economy. Stop looking to them to solve this horrific problem. They didn’t cause it, YOU DID when you voted eight years ago. Obviously, too many are still ignorant to the fact that they have a lot to do with the war in Iraq.

The rich folks wouldn’t be rich if the little guy didn’t work hard and surrender his money to a system that takes more and more from them. Many will vote for McCain. They have no problem seeing the Middle Working Class carry the burden of taxes year after year. One thing they are forgetting, eventually they will lose. The Middle Class and ordinary people are not going to be able to keep holding you up. Physicians, we have been paying for your degrees for years. Entertainers, we have been idolizing and supporting you for years. Eventually, we are going to have use our money to survive leaving entertainment of a less priority. And you, self-righteous and misleading Evangelicals, we are beginning to get tired of paying your jet fuel and custom designers bill. You voted for Bush so we know which way you are going. Eventually, tithes are going elsewhere.

America, look at yourselves, you don’t know what is real. But you at least have to know when something seems familiar. Working America, who will give you hope? Who is after your insurance plans from your employers? Who has always looked out for the rich? How come the working class can’t get a tax break? We have been carrying this country for years. If we do not choose wisely, we will have only ourselves to blame.

Obama nor McCain can save us from the damages incurred from this existing leadership. We have years of suffering already. No matter who becomes president, it is going to take more than four years to pull us out of this slump. If we do not choose wisely, there will be no healing for this nation. The world is very well aware of it. We must save ourselves. It is not about race, gender, class, it is about who will re-establish our foundation for future generations.

Those worried about the Anti-Christ, he is in the church that is why Bush was elected so stop thinking he is getting ready to reign in the White House. America, save yourself, one man can not do it nor can one woman. Stop the suicide. We’re dying!

As I observe life and the difficulties we face expressing and sharing our need to be loved, I find it quite interesting that most of us single people deny what we need the most.  Think about it, we can  be independently strong and create a home filled with peace.  We can even physically satisfy ourselves if that need be so.  But there is something that we can not do for ourselves.  And, that something is what every living soul needs.

Before I tell you what I feel it is, I want you to think about a new born baby.  For sure he or she needs the hands of others to survive.  In fact, it has been said if a child is not held or touched,he or she could actually die.  We have to hold babies close to us to make them feel safe and secure.  Guess what?  Adults need the same thing to continue to grow and feel healthy and secure.

A person who has not been held or lovingly embraced by someone who really loves and care about them is a person who is less than he or she could be.  Not saying single people are not strong in their survival.  No doubt we are that.  We can survive and make the best of things with what we have.  We can provide f or others and still have a lot to give ourselves to survive.  But we can not embrace ourselves.  There is nothing like a sweet embrace from someone who downright loves you. 

So many people today are dying for a sweet embrace so much so they seek it from untrusting sources and at times abnormal sources.  Woman to woman embraces, man to man embraces usually come about due to giving up on the she and he embraces that made our species strong and able to develop into spiritual and loving beings. 

In fact. so many of the criminals locked behind bars are people who needed a sweet embrace.  Something about a loving embrace can calm the savage beast in us.  People who have become distant from others and won't allow anyone to embrace them do this because they are starving and fear weakness would result the moment the embrace is received.  So they create a thick wall ensuring the embrace does not take place.

Being that we are creatures of habit, our early beginnings of being loved, held, nurtured and held close does not die.  Our memory banks hold dear to those moments of being loved and secured in the hands of our mother and loved ones.  A child acting out after another sibling is born is begging to have his or her sweet embrace recaptured in their lives.  Many children are ignored as the family numbers increase.  What we end up with is children going out into the world going through withdrawal--a need to be embraced by someone who loves them dearly. 

Hugs are nice when we receive them.  To be embraced in a hug is the transferring of love from one person to another.  I know as a single woman, I take good care of my self but I cannot embrace my self and this alone lets me know we were not born to be alone.  Each person in the world was born to be embraced their whole lives but due to selfish priorities, lonely people walk the earth accepting they just may not be embraced or loved by anyone.

I personally embrace those who allow me because I know in doing so, healing can  take place in  their spirit and body.  We all have a sweet embrace to share.  Please do not let it go to waste.  Go away embrace your fellowman.  Just maybe, you may be their healer for this season.  With these words, I embrace you all. 

As we near election, we are listening to two primary candidates, John McCain and Barrack Obama.  I am sure I am not the only one shocked that Obama has made it this far.  For me this is a miracle.  When think how far the African American man has come in America, this is a very eerie thing for me because this is something that just don’t happen.  But now that it has happened.  Barrack Obama may very well be the next president of the United States, you can’t help but wonder if we were as evil and racist as a nation as evidence have revealed.  Could it be finally white America is allowing their conscious to expand beyond racism to Americanism?

I don’t know because we still struggle as African Americans to be safe and created equal in America.  But if this is not the case, then why have white America allowed Obama to arrive to where he stands today?  Is it a hidden agenda?  Will it be proved that racism has found more sophisticated ways to express itself behind the scenes and it is just waiting for the moment when it will show its ugly head or have we actually evolved into less prejudice beings?

We’ve seen some racial evidence surface but we counteract them properly not allowing them to destroy our hope of establishing a nation tired of corruption.  I am so touched by the people of America today.  They are fighting for change.  When I see a white man trusting Obama I am mesmerized.  Their dedication and commitment to seeing him lead us to a better place is overwhelming to me.  I have witnessed it more times than I ever imagined.  As an African American female in America, I know both sides of the fence of the white Americans being for and against us.  I must say it is a two-edged sword America is facing now.

The world is watching us with a magnifying glass.  It knows our tendencies to self-destruct.  The world is waiting to see if racism will do its evil thing as we seek salvation from corruption.  The outsiders are watching us to see if good will prevail thinking it will not because America has gotten its priorities out of place.  We have to save ourselves from greedy and corrupted leaderships.  If we don’t, the outsiders will close in on us and racism will be invalid from then on end. 

Obama is taking on a task of assisting the victimized people of America recover from corruption.  John McCain as far as I see is only playing the old political game of controlling people’s lives with no concern for individuals struggling to have a secure life.  If we don’t get involve and let it be known that America is not going to take it anymore, we’re going to fight to save our future because our children need hope, then we are wasting our time working everyday.  America, it is not just sweet words Obama is speaking.  He is revealing our serious need to see and do things differently.  This man is risking his and his family’s life to pave a way to saving America from dictatorship.  Time and time again, he reminds us we have to work together to save America.