When we consider answering the question: “Why so many single African American women?” We have to be prepared to go deep into the soul of the black woman. This means that you have to be willing to understand we as the female gender thrive on the power of love. The problem is love and sex has been totally abused in meaning and behavior.
In writing the first part of this series, one of the readers put extra emphasis on sex being the major reason why there are so many single females today. I can join in agreeing that sexual activity plays a crucial part in this issue but I also feel it is important that it is understood why so much sexual activity.
First of all, large numbers of women have been sexually abused as children. And those who weren’t abused as children experienced some form of sexual abuse as adults. As a result, we have women who have gone through life internally damaged mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. The natural process of discernment and constructive reasoning has been compromised and lost. Intimacy has been identified as some form of retardation in choosing healthy involvement in relationships.
The saddest thing about this reality is that women are not aware they are not being their true and natural selves. If they had not been violated, they would think, feel, process information totally differently. You see, what happens is the real woman is buried deep inside of them and the abused woman decides what will be. This woman does not think logically in fact she does not think much at all. She responds to life because she knows her feelings do not matter, only the feelings for the man she will allow into her body.
An abused woman exists to meet the requirements of others. They are usually very successful because they have learned to wear many masks. You do not get her heart. She does not trust you. How can she trust you when the abusers are usually people she is supposed to trust, her father, neighbor, pastor, etc. She will let you do what you like to her. In fact abused women are some of your most freaky women. They learned how to please others in the most unnatural circumstances. That is one of the reasons why young girls turn on older males.
They grew up fast sexually and mentally in getting pleasures fulfilled even if they didn’t want to do it. Their fulfillment is in getting it done. Being sexually desired makes them feel special and their ability to deliver reinforces it.
Many abused women have children because they have learned this to be a safe way of being loved. Though the claim is a desire to be loved by a man, on the other hand deep down they do not feel it is possible. There is a tug of war going on that pushes them away from any possibilities of true intimacy.
Natural tendencies are developed early in life. People would be amazed how different they would be if they were brought up in a healthy environment. Molested women and men struggle daily wondering who he or she could have been if this experience had not happened to them. This makes them feel unworthy of true love. Yet, again, it is desired but practically hopeless.
Unconsciously, they exist with no conscious of knowing their true selves. Having sex because it was their first experience of intimacy and being desired. Relationships destroy them and the other person involved. Each departs with scares that the next person they meet must endure. The vicious cycle continues leaving people alienated from potential real love.
Sex---love, sex----love, the meaning is tarnished because no one knows what the other is saying.

When I listened to President Obama give his State of the Union Address, tears came to my eyes.  Here was a man who genuinely cares about America. This man loves his wife and children.  He did not become President for the same reasons most men become President.  He became one to show America how sick we really are.
As Obama spoke to the nation, the world was watching but most importantly, children of America were watching as well.  What they saw was very sad.  Sitting right before us were grown people representing our Country literally pouting like two-year old children.  The Republican Party refused to show any signs of concern for the American people.  They did not have the ability to give any inkling of hope that we can save America. 
These same people ran this Country for eight years. They want us to act like damages that occurred during that time never happened.  Anybody in their right mind knows their plans used to run America invoked self-destruction.  The damages are still prevalent today.  Einstein once wrote: “Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result is insanity”.  We cannot continue to follow The Republican Party’s way of thinking if we want a solid future for our children.
Because of the past, not the present, America is suffering severely.  Democrats against Republicans and vice versa are a guaranteed war that will finish off this Country.  Obama, I do believe if he had his way neither party would exist.  A House divided against itself cannot stand.  While this war is going on, nations surrounding us are getting stronger and watching us become weaker. 
Obama can only expose the catalysts that control and destroy America.  Many people responded to his speech like victims who do not know how to accept the truth.  They would rather forget the past and blame present choices for the struggles we face today.  Because of the severe victimization we have accepted for so long, possible healing is like a dream, a sure impossibility.  To survive, many people attack Obama because to accept the reality of what they accepted years ago would be too traumatic.  Attacking makes it more bearable when in reality they know we were raped.
For sure, it is obvious the President does not have the power people tend to think he has.  Instead they are whipping post for decisions made and not made by people we elect to be with him.  Eight years ago it was Bush who was blamed for our woes.  He appeared to be in sync with these ridged leaders.  But was he really?  Obama is not in sync with them and they are determined to tame and break him because no one is coming into that White House and heal this nation.  They just will not allow it. 
Clean house, eliminate all bacteria.  Anything else is continued abused for the American people.  Should there be a revolution?  Yes!

I find it interesting how we are taught to watch out for strangers for they may take advantage of us.  I had to ask myself:  When do you really know someone?  What is it about a person that allows you to open the door to let them in your life?  The first thought that came to my mind is we tend to lower our guards based on titles.  In this world if you are a Christian, Minister, Doctor, Teacher, Celebrity, Father, Mother, etc., we will shift our inner gears to see what you are about based on badges we display.

Today I am talking to my innocent people, the givers of the world.  I want you to know a true predator does not have to be a monster.  In fact, the predators I want to talk about are the ones we prefer to not talk about—the Christian predator is putting on a collar and walking with the bible in his or her hand.  I recently met a man considered to be a reverend he had a possible streak of bad luck.  He found me on a website and admired my photo and my purpose in life.  In corresponding with him, he revealed to me God put it on his heart to ask me to join his ministry that what we could do together could help a lot of people.  I told him, I heard that before.  I did not sense God revealed this to him.  Later I learned he felt my empathy for victims could make his life a lot easier asking me for money because he was experiencing identity theft and all his means were cut off.  When I refused, I did not hear from him anymore.

He was a reverend with a nonprofit ministry that reached out to people needing a second a chance yet he had a heart and mind to prey upon a survivor of victimization.  He was not the first Christian man to be drawn to me by what they call my innocence and gentleness towards life that they wanted to usefor self-gain, there has been several supposedly Christian men who have attempted to take advantage of my kind nature saying so many women today are heartless and lack compassion.  Well, now I am really beginning to understand why this may be true.  Good people are considered weak and naïve’ even in the Christian community.  It is not just men that tend to prey on good natured people, women have proven to do the same as well. 

True people of God are the givers of life and subject to be preyed upon by predators.  We must know God has given us discernment and we must pray that it is sharp at all times.  Predators can pray, sing, preach, give you a loving hug etc., and be planning to take from you with no thought of your well-being.  The Bible identifies them as wolves in sheep clothing.  They are not afraid of God or losing.  Remember, anybody can become a minister, many are getting ordained right on line or by their friends and relatives.  Don’t let the title make you too relaxed. 

In all sectors of life we have our honest and sincere ministers and Christians but we can not ignore the fact we have enemies in the camp.  Always remember, a real predator already knows exactly what they want from you and how to get it.  One weakness a predator has is the word no and that is because it is not in their program so their true colors will surely show as they attack, create guilt or back out widely or graciously.  If it seems too good to be true, chances are it is just that. 

I want to talk to the innocent people in the world-- those who have fallen victim to unjust actions and choices.  I want you to know whether you were raped, molested, robbed, caught in the midst of Katrina or any natural disasters, any victimization where something was taken from you and there was not anything you could do about it; you are still here representing a rare group of people greater than any injustice that takes place in this world. You are here because you have a spirit and a soul this world can not take or kill.  Like me, you represent the reality this world is not your home.  Our survival of victimization confirms we exist for greater reasons beyond this world of selfishness and evil.

Tonight, I just wanted to join you in spirit.  We have come such a long way being misunderstood and at times not accepted.  For many of us, we have to ask the question:  Who do we trust?  In asking that question, we only want to know how we get people to do the right thing to do right by us and let us be.  I asked a few friends and family members:  How do you get people to do the right thing?  Those who do right by others had no answers in getting people to do right.  They can only say their choices to do right are natural for them that anything else would be uncomfortable.  On the other hand, those who are self-centered and greedy told me they do what they have to do and usually at any price.  That included taking from others if necessary.  These people admitted the thoughts of guilt were always ignored because they did what they had to do.

This made me realize no matter how innocent a person is, there are people out there who simply do not have a conscious of other people’s right to be safe and free.  In my book LAST DAY OF VICTIMIZATION I reveal the reality of there always being a THEM and US.  By nature, some people are takers, selfish, deceiving and unjust.  I call them people born of the Cain seed.  Then there are those who are kind, considerate, trusting and giving.  They are those born of the Abel seed.  The Abel seed is out numbered by the Cain spirit by a huge margin.

In answering the question to whom do we trust, Christians will be the first to say trust no one but God.  This is indeed true but many who are quick to make this statement do not have this living in their hearts.  They will take from God’s people in a heartbeat to survive and enjoy their lives.  This is why trust is deteriorating from our lives.  People we should be able to trust have allowed their own needs to supersede doing right by others.  All Christians are not takers and deceivers; we do have some who allow God’s spirit to reign in their lives.  They are innocent people.

Tonight, I had to let innocent victims know there are so many of us who do not know how to exist in a world not trusting people, especially when by nature we should be able to trust.  This is vexation to the spirit.  See, we must remember something very important.  Anybody coming up against us and taking from us are not doing that.  They are coming up against God.  As long as we trust God, we can trust anybody that comes into our lives to either reveal the light of love and God or the reality of darkness.  No matter what people do, we can not be destroyed.  Our souls belong to God. 

My fellow victims know we are not victims in spirit in truth.  In fact we are so valuable to God; the self-centered evildoers seek to destroy us because by nature, they can’t know God.  That’s right the innocent people of the world are God’s people.  Whether it is acknowledged or not, this is a truth that can’t be denied.  Rest at night knowing you more than a victim, you are chosen by God.  Jesus was the greatest victim that ever lived.  Whose child was he?

MOLESTED ANGEL GET HER WINGS

As a survivor of molestation, I can honestly say there is a beautiful life after being molested. I remember watching "Woman Thou Art Loose" by TD Jakes. In the movie, the main character, a young female was raped by her mother’s boyfriend who took her virginity. Neither her mother or anybody in her life knew her inner suffering with this experience. That hidden anguish grew to self-destruction.

The movie bothered me from the standpoint that when a man of God counsels this young lady knowing her deep seated anger and offered her no answers and in the end no hope. This was a great devastation for me because the victim ends up shooting the victimizer at the altar in the House of God. People found this to be an excellent movie. I found it to be a preying on emotions and a means of an income dealing with a subject so complex and soul altering that to tamper with it with no resolve was unjust to molested victims needing help. Several years later, I still remember this disappointment.

With this in mind, I want victims, not only molested victims to know and understand there is hope and there are answers. We just have to discover our own path to God. I wrote a book, "LAST DAY OF VICTIMIZATION". This book reveals the soul of victimization and prepares victims and those who love and want to assist in the healing process answers and a real understanding why we are victims. Trust me if you really want to be delivered from your past, it can happen and it will if you consider the possibility it is because you are a child of God therefore you are a target for potential abuse.

Though many people would hate to admit, healing from molestation and many other forms of abuse takes time, lots of time. It is a shifting of gears from low to high with neutral sometimes making us think we are not progressing. I want molested angels all around the world to know you can and will accept your wings of freedom. When it happens you will know it. I remember accepting my wings. It happened in a way that never entered my mind. I owe it to my soul mate. I will ever be indebted to him.

Standing up for one’s feelings, needs and desires was difficult for me as a molested victim because that natural choosing was denied me for so many years of my life. I faced the world not acknowledging my true feelings that made me who I am. Instead, the needs, feelings and desires of the ones I loved had precedence over mines; but finally after much trust in God and allowing myself to rise out of my private abyss, I spoke from my soul and risk the chance of disappointing or even losing my soul mate. See in the past, I was hollered at or spanked if I expressed my true feelings. But my day of realizing God has brought me from a long way I spoke and received my Wings of Healing. Today, I can say: God will restore the years of the locusts. My past can no longer paralyze my presence. To be free is knowing you are AMAZING!